Doug's Diatribe

An Update!? Well Take off My Clothes and Call Me Naked!

2006-06-22T23:54:00.000-04:00

Greetings everyone! The Summer doldrums have led me back down the path of ye olde blogosphere. I figured that since it has been a solid 6 months since my last post it would be fitting to issue another installment of my year in review. However, this go 'round I'll be covering 2005 and the first 6 months of 2006...

Year in Review

Surveying 2005/Jan-June 2006

01. What did you do in 2005/06 that you had never done before? Two chicks at the same time...Actually, I finished my first year of graduate school.
02. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Yep! For a while, anyways./Absolutely
03. Did anyone close to you give birth? There are some baby bunny rabbits hopping around my backyard.
04. Did anyone close to you die? No.
05. What countries did you visit? Idaho is kind of like another country.
06. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? More sculpted abs.
07. What date from 2005/06 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? May 7, 2006. The date of the final match ever at Highbury. C'mon you Gooners!
08. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Making it through my first year of grad school.
09. What was your biggest failure? Failing to find the meaning of life.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I trip over stuff and run into things when I walk sometimes.
11. What was the best thing you bought? Digital camera!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Anderson Cooper. He's so dreamy!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Dubbya
14. Where did most of your money go? Tuition and prostitutes...well, mostly just prostitutes...(kidding)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? First dates, new relationships, graduate school, new job, Stamey's barbecue, and OF COURSE Cadbury mini eggs.
16. What song will always remind you of 2005/06? Most songs on the Fifa soundtrack and "The Clincher" by Chevelle.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or Sadder? Sadder. Thinner or Fatter? About the same. Richer or Poorer? More money in the bank. I'm richer, bitch! 18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Work out, tell my friends how much they mean to me.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Worry.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? Went home to see the family.
21. Did you fall in love in 2005/06? No
22. How many one-night stands? 1* But it was Edward 40-hands night so I get a pass...right?
23. What was your favorite TV program? The Colbert Report
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No
25. What was the best book you read? Deception Point
26. What was your greatest musical discovery? Chevelle
27. What did you want and get? Digital Camera!!
28. What did you want and not get? Any number of things.
29. What was your favorite film of this year? Thank You for Smoking
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 23...and I honestly don't remember...but I'm pretty sure it involved alcohol.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Winning the lottery or seeing Arsenal win the Champions' League. Also, I would have been much more satisfied if Wake didn't suck at life last basketball season.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005/06? As stylish as my budget can afford. Holla at a clearance rack!
33. What kept you sane? Observing people at Home Depot
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you admire the most? Stephen Colbert
35. What political issue stirred you the most? Iraq
36. Who do you miss? Guilford friends that have moved away.
37. Who was the best new person you met? Elisabeth Villette
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005/06: Flammable and Imflammable mean the same thing! Also, it's important to adapt to new surroundings and situations.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "Come on people, now. Smile on your brother. Everybody get together, try to love one another."

A Christmas Query

2005-12-16T15:25:00.000-05:00

I would like to consider myself to be a fledgling historian. With my fall semester over, and with no assignments to do for another month or so I have decided to go on a scavenger hunt of sorts. With the Christmas holiday upon us it would be pertinent to devote an entry to Christianity. My interest is further peaked by the book I am currently reading, titled Holy Blood, Holy Grail. It is an interesting work published in 1982 that describes the idea of the Holy Grail being the bloodline of Jesus rather than the cup that collected his blood during the crucifiction. This research became the major plot line of Dan Brown's international best seller The DaVinci Code. The quest for the holy grail dates back to the early middle ages, and it, as well as a number of other Christian relics, are highly sought after by any number of groups of people. This leaves the following question: What Christian relics are lost, and what can still be found in the reliquaries of churches around the world?

Before listing relics it is paramount to understand what exactly constitutes a relic in Christianity. We have the folks at Wikipedia to thank for that.

Major Christian Relics: Present and Accounted For:

Pieces of the True Cross - Fragments of the cross upon which Jesus was crucified are kept in Santo Toribio de Liebana in Spain, Santa Croce in Gerusalemme in Rome, and the Cathedrale de Notre Dame in Paris, amongst others. Many of these fragments have been carbon dated and tested, proving that they are from the time of Jesus and are from the same species of tree.

The Shroud of Turin - Located at the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist in Turin, Italy, the shroud is said to be the burial cloth Jesus was wrapped in after the crucifiction. Its authenticity has been questioned because of contradicting carbon and cloth dating samples, as well as a whirlwind of claims regarding when and how it surfaced. Nonetheless, it is held by a church and is periodically put on display.

Calvary of Crucifiction: Located within the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem, the Calvary of Crucifiction is the place of Jesus' crucifiction. Known as Golgotha, the large rocky surface is now weathered over, and all that remains is a three meter pile of ancient stones.

The Holy Sponge - Found in Santa Croce in Rome, the holy sponge is an ancient, brown with blood sponge that was dipped in vinegar and used to wipe Jesus' body as he lay strewn on the cross. Bits of the holy sponge also appear in at least two other churches in Rome.

St. Thomas' Finger - Also held by Santa Croce, this is the finger of St. Thomas that touched the wounds of Jesus on the crucifix.

Remains of St. Peter - Located in the catacombs of St. Peter's Basilica in the Vatican City are the full remains of the disciple Peter.

Major Christian Relics: Missing or Lost

Holy Prepuce - The foreskin of Jesus, said to be the only remaining physical trace of his body on Earth, was reported to be in the possession of a Catholic church in Calcata. However, any trace of it disappeared when it was stolen during a festival in 1983.

Holy Grail - One of the most sought after relics of all time. The Holy Grail, or Cup of Christ, is believed to be the chalice used during the last supper and/or the cup used to collect his blood at the site of the crucifiction. There are many stories circulating throughout history regarding the location of the Grail, but no concrete evidence exists. The Grail has inspired many stories over the years, including Arthur and the Knights of Camelot, and best selling literature such as The DaVinci Code.

Ark of the Covenant and Contents: The Ark of the Covenant, as well as the staff of Moses and the Ten Commandments located within is another major article of Christendom that has not been seen for many years. While the Ethiopian Orthodox Church claims possession of the relic they will permit neither photographs or public viewing of their hold. This leads many biblical historians to doubt the authenticity of Ethiopia's claims, and popular thought is that the Ark is hidden somewhere in Jerusalem to this day.

There are literally hundreds of Christian relics around the world. There is no way to verify the authenticity of any of them. Those types of things are matters of faith. Special thanks to Wikipedia and ReligionFacts.com.

Winter Break

2005-12-10T00:16:00.000-05:00

One semester of grad school down, three to go. I'm going to sleep now...

A Tribute to Coach Sapp

2005-11-27T11:48:00.000-05:00

Coach Bob Sapp has put Mount Tabor football on the map (in NC, anyways). In his 12 year tenure Coach Sapp transformed Tabor from the "whipping post of 4A football" in North Carolina to a consistent, winning program. His resume is second to none in my alma mater's history: a record of 122-28 with three appearances in the state regional finals and one appearance in the state championship game. He is a man of character who I have the utmost respect for. He epitomizes all of the good characteristics that a high school coach should strive to maintain, and his impact on Mount Tabor athletics will be felt far into the future. Here's wishing you a fond farewell, Coach!

Thanksgiving: A History

2005-11-23T21:33:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving! (my American readers, at least...the rest of you could probably care less about Turkey Day)...Nonetheless, I figured that it would be a good idea to offer some historial perspective on our delightfully gluttonous, carniverous holiday. Behold...History!!!

The first Thanksgiving occurred in Massachusetts in 1621. This is an account written by William Bradford in Of Plymouth Plantation:

"They began now to gather in the small harvest they had, and to fit up their house and dwelling against winter, being all well recovered in health and strength and had all things in good plenty. For as some were thus employed in affairs abroad, others were exercised in fishing, about cod and bass and other fish, of which they took good store, of which every family had their portion. All the summer there was no want; and now began to come in store of fowl, as winter approached, of which this place did abound when they came first (but afterward decreased by degrees). And besides waterfowl there was great store of wild turkeys, of which they took many, besides venison, etc. Besides, they had about a peck of meal a week to a person, or now since harvest, Indian corn to that proportion. Which made many afterwards write so largely of their plenty here to their friends in England, which were not feigned by true reports." -courtesty of Wikipedia

An 1869 Thanksgiving political cartoon from Harper's Weekly...care of Thomas Nast

That's all for now. Perhaps I'll feel more motivated to write tomorrow evening once the tryptophan wears off...oh joyous turkey...

Happy (Belated) Birthday to Me!

2005-11-18T23:01:00.000-05:00

I was looking over my archives and marveling at my beautifully written and substantive entries (toot toot!) and I came to a realization...November 7 marked the one year anniversary of my first blog entry. So, here's wishing you a happy belated birthday, Doug's Diatribe!

Things that Make Me Shake My Head in Disgust

2005-11-17T17:19:00.000-05:00

If you're anything like me then there are some things that are so excruciatingly painful to witness or experience that you'd rather spend your time ripping an ingrown nail out of your big toe. Here are some of these things as they pertain to me:

Bandwagon Fans: My first real experience with bandwagon fans happened my freshman year of college. My roommate at the time, who will remain nameless, claimed to be a huge Duke fan...well, during basketball at least. It seems that he forgot that college athletics existed between April and December. Well, this self-proclaimed fan could not even tell me Duke's starting line-up or who they were scheduled to play on days they had games. Any time Duke was mentioned he would just point to his ratty baseball cap with a Blue Devil logo and say in a Southern drawl, "mah boys!". Well, his "boys" ended up winning the national championship, and on top of that he won 80 dollars from a bracket pool that some of us had gone in on. He knew absolutely nothing about any other teams in college basketball, but because he wrote Duke on a piece of paper six times and they happened to win, he got the cash. And that, my friends, is a travesty.

People That Constantly Put America Down: You know who you are. Every time something even slightly bad happens in this country you put on the negative blinders. Whether it is education, race relations, debt, foreign relations, or politics in general, American Putter Downers jump on every opportunity to point out every imperfection in the American systems. Does everything work out perfectly? No. Do we stick our noses in other people's business too often? Yes. The truth is that there are a lot of imperfections with America's policies, but all in all I think we do a pretty good job most of the time. Especially if there is a Democrat in the White House. However, those who lambast the U. S. of A. on a consistent basis and continuously point to all the great things that European, Asian, South American, and etc. countries have accomplished usually don't point out the gross imbalances that nations of those continents display. Race relations in America are not nearly as tenuous as those in France, Spain, or arguably, England. While we still have not attained universal healthcare it is important to note that nations that boast such services have difficulty maintaining them and the quality of service suffers as a result. So, America haters...gain some perspective and have a glass of Kool-Aid.

People That Automatically Believe That Everything America Does Is Right 100% Of The Time: On the opposite end of the spectrum are the extreme pro-American flake-o space cadets. You know the ones. They typically say things like "Not only should we take care of Iraq, but we should deal with Iran, Saudi Arabia, Syria, etc. while we're there", or "It was a good idea to incite a military coup in Chile", or "NAFTA is good because it gives us access to cheaper gadgets". Coincedently, these people also are more likely to display a Confederate flag as a sign of "heritage". Oh sweet irony.

People That Inherit Wealth And Feel As Though They Have A Right To Be Heard: Ok, maybe I should have just said Paris Hilton.

Scientologists: Oh man...where to start. Some would argue that Scientology demands respect and should be spoken of in the same breath as other established worldly religions. And by some I mean Scientologists. The truth is, it's a made up religion invented by an author who used it as a ploy to gain personal wealth. It's no coincedence that most of its members are wealthy Hollywood types that have too much money and not enough time in the day to spend it. I'm sorry, but where I come from we call such endeavors cults. Shame on you L. Ron Hubbard, shame on you.

Tom Cruise: See above. And I'll never forgive you for what you have done to Katie Holmes!

Global Warming

2005-11-14T21:40:00.000-05:00

Al Gore has been guilty of a few mis-speaks over the course of his career. (i.e. "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet...") While serving in Congress Gore did indeed help allocate resources that led to building the infrastructure that we use with the internet, but the first instance of an internet occured at CERN in Switzerland (Yes, CERN exists and the internet was first used there in 1989. Even Dan Brown gets some facts right every once in a while). But onto the task at hand.

In the current issue of Rolling Stone there is a series of alarming articles concerning the proliferation of global warming. Contributors to these articles include Al Gore and environmental studies scholar Bill McKibben. A transcript of McKibben's piece can be found here, and Gore's article is linked here. There is no groundbreaking research introduced within the pages but there is an impressive and ominous collection of facts that all point to human induced climate changes. Perhaps the most alarming and discouraging observation is the rapidly dwindling polar ice cap in the Northern Hemisphere. In only 25 years the ice cap has receded hundreds of miles and the Northern Hemisphere growing season has increased by 11 days. This summer alone an area of ice the size of Texas melted into the ocean, and the average sea level has risen 50 millimeters in the last 10 years. McKibben states that the introduction of this cool, melted, fresh water could upset the salinity levels of oceans across the globe as well as disrupt the gulf stream; eventually plummeting Northern and Western Europe into a deep freeze. Holy crap, this sounds just like The Day After Tomorrow!

Scandalous

2005-11-06T20:25:00.000-05:00

The Panthers beat the Tampa Bay Bucaneers 34-14, but that is not the only Carolina related story dominating news headlines. Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders, pictured left and right, have been arrested following altercations after it was discovered that they were having sex with one another in the restroom of a Tampa Bay nightclub. Hmmm, two lesbian/bisexual cheerleaders caught having sex in a public restroom. Sounds like this movie I saw this one time...

Owned

2005-10-30T21:13:00.000-05:00

Wake Forest wrecked Duke 44-6 on Saturday.
Carolina destroyed Minnesota 38-13 on Sunday.

PWN3D!

For You Jeff Vanke Fans

2005-10-06T17:26:00.000-04:00

If you've ever taken a class on the 20th century then you know that the signing of the Munich Accords was one of the most significant events of that 100 years. Here is a tribute to that fateful day courtesy of The Onion.

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/10041938_055_Chamberlain.article.png

2005-10-06T15:32:00.000-04:00

More To Come

2005-10-06T15:08:00.000-04:00

Hey all...sorry for the lack of posts the last couple days...weeks...months...well, you get the idea. So, in the interest of maintaining slackardom during graduate school I've decided to ressurect the 'ole blog. Be on the lookout for a fresh look and the same wholesome entertainment you relied on back in the day. :)

Discovery Channel's Farcical "Greatest Americans" List

2005-06-27T23:12:00.000-04:00

The Discovery Channel's latest monstrosity is as ignorant and disrespectful as it is ludicrous. Exhibit A: The 25 Greatest Americans as voted on by the American public. And man is the American public dumb...

25. Neil Armstrong
24. Henry Ford
23. Wright Brothers
22. Rosa Parks
21. Muhammed Ali
20. Lance Armstrong
19. Eleanor Roosevelt
18. Bill Gates
17. Bob Hope
16. John F. Kennedy
15. Thomas Edison
14. Albert Einstein
13. Walt Disney
12. Thomas Jefferson
11. Billy Graham
10. Franklin Roosevelt
9. Oprah Winfrey
8. Elvis Presley
7. Bill Clinton
6. George W. Bush
5. Benjamin Franklin
4. George Washington
3. Martin Luther King
2. Abraham Lincoln
1. Ronald Reagan

I have a few problems with this list. First off, the people in bold have NO BUSINESS BEING ON THIS LIST!!!!!! Second, this list leans way too heavily towards pop culture. Third, the people that deserve to be on this list are not ranked highly enough. Oh, and I'm pretty sure that Albert Einstein wasn't really an American. And how can you have a list of greatest Americans and put FDR at number 10?! Behind Elvis Presley and Oprah Winfrey?!?!?! I have nothing against Oprah Winfrey, but putting a talk show host with a book club ahead of the most beloved and longest serving president in history makes me a little sad. And what's up with Walt Disney and Henry Ford being on the list? Sure, Ford is credited with the assembly line and Walt invented Mickey Mouse, but these guys were friggin' Nazi sympathizers. And what about John Adams, James Monroe, Frederick Douglas, Ulysses S. Grant, Dwight Eisenhour, Horace Greeley, or Clara Barton? Heck, why not Admiral Doubleday too? Nothing more American than baseball, right? Here's how this list should have looked.

25. Anybody who has ever served in the armed forces
24. Clara Barton
23. Horace Greeley
22. John F. Kennedy
21. Wright Brothers
20. Bill Gates
19. Neil Armstrong
18. Frederick Douglas
17. Eleanor Roosevelt
16. Martin Luther King
15. Members of the Seneca Falls Convention
14. Alexander Graham Bell
13. Mark Twain
12. Andrew Carnegie
11. Jonas Salk
10. Ulysses S. Grant
9. John Adams
8. Thomas Edison
7. James Monroe
6. Dwight Eisenhour
5. Ben Franklin
4. Thomas Jefferson
3. Abraham Lincoln
2. George Washington
1. Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Operation Overlord

2005-06-06T21:28:00.000-04:00

Today is June 6. It is the anniversary of the most important event in the most critical time of human existence.

On this day 61 years ago troops landed in the early morning hours on the beaches of the Normandy coastline designated Sword, Juno, Gold, Utah, and Omaha. The planning, strategy, build-up, deception, and carrying out of D-day landings surpasses every military operation before or since, and represents a time where human ingenuity saved lives and turned the tide of war.
The planning of Operation Overlord took more than two years. Over 2 million Allied troops were assembled and trained in the southeastern coastal regions of England. Dwight Eisenhour, supreme commander of the Allied forces, knew that the only way to break Hitler's "Fortress Europe" was to gain a foothold somewhere along the coast of France closest to the English Channel. However, this was easier said than done. Hitler had been expecting a massive offensive against his coastlines so he placed his most capable officer, Field Marshal Erwin Rommel, in charge of his Atlantic Wall.
Rommel, known as the Desert Fox for his mastery of warfare utilizing armored divisions in North Africa, knew that the only way to repel an assault by Allied forces, who had superior manpower and complete control of sea and air, was to turn away the invasion at the beach and prevent the Allied forces from gaining that foothold that Eisenhour coveted so deeply. Once the Atlantic Wall was breached it would only be a matter of time before Germany was forced onto the defensive; a tactic that the beleaguered German army could not sustain.
Eisenhour and his staff knew that Rommel's Panzer tank divisions had to be spread out and kept at a safe distance from the landing site or else the whole mission would have been compromised. If Rommel were able to deploy his tanks in a counterattack, only hours after the initial landing, then the Allied assault would have been repelled and the entire mission would have been a failure. The solution: deception.
The Allied forces had one major advantage in intelligence over the Germans: code-breaking. British code-breakers had deciphered the vaunted German "enigma" transmission code by 1942 and had been using it to decipher information about intelligence and troop movements.
The Allied commanders used this advantage to launch one of the greatest ploys in human history, known as Operation Fortitude.
Fortitude involved the creation of a giant fake army in England and was made to dupe the Germans into thinking that the Allied assault would come in the Nord Pas-de-Calais region of France rather than the Normandy region a couple hundred miles to the South. Dummy inflatable tanks and machinery, fake radio chatter, and the public appearance of General George Patton in Dover made the Germans very weary of an assault. Little did they know that all of this assumed build-up was a trick that they helplessly fell for.
The effect? Hitler was so afraid of an attack at Calais that he ordered the bulk of Rommel's Panzer divisions and able troops to the northern coast of France, leaving well-entrenched but poorly reinforced troops to guard the Normandy coast.
The rest, as they say, is history. Allied forces landed on the coast amidst rough seas and heavy bombardment, establishing a foothold while sustaining in some cases extreme casualties. The bravery of those troops helped pave the way for the Allied surge to Germany and ultimately led to the end of the war in the European theater.
The German army did have one last thrust left in them. It came in the Ardennes forest region at the Franco-German border. But I'll tell you about that in December.

The South Will Rise Again!

2005-05-27T12:23:00.000-04:00

And when they do they will be sure to follow traffic laws...This study indicates that Northern states performed the most poorly on the nationwide 20 question standardized driving test. This is not surprising to me considering all of the vast, suburban, sprawled areas we Southerners must navigate on an almost daily basis...

You Can Do It!

2005-05-24T22:11:00.000-04:00

1,960 hits as I write this entry. I'm within a stone's throw of 2,000! Wow, whoulda thunk it!? Thanks to everybody that reads my tireless rambles and witticisms. I'll try to make this blog be all it can be. I guess i should start to improve the content now that I will have....

2,000 HITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arsene Wenger's Red and White Army!

2005-05-21T17:06:00.000-04:00

Sing about the Gunners,
we're the lads in Red and White,
we can play the football game,
and we can play it right.
While there's still a minute left,
we'll not give up the fight,
when we go marching on Cardiff.
March on, march on!
The boys from Highbury.
March on, march on!
March on to victory.
The Gunners colours on the Cup,
is what we're gonna see,
when we go marching on Cardiff!

Arsenal - 2005 FA Cup Champions

Turn the Page

2005-05-18T01:39:00.000-04:00

I'm sure that a lot of authors have compared life to a complex, evolving plotline that is similar to a book. I'll save you the tired rhetoric and simply offer you a glimpse into my "story known as life".

It started innocently enough: a young, spry toddler starring in "The Children's Book Known as Doug". After a few years my life evolved into "The Short Story Known as Doug". This, of course, eventually led to "The Early, Awkward, Teenage Years of Doug", followed closely by the classic "Doug Goes to College and Experiences Freedom, Choices, and Responsibility". A few years later a new book in the series was completed. This deep psychological thriller was titled "Doug Finds His True Self Just in Time to Graduate and then Has to Figure Out a Plan for the Rest of His Life." Thankfully, a temporary breath of fresh air was pumped into my story in the form of "Doug Moves in With Two Awesome Roommates and Maps Out His Immediate Future While Gaining Work Experience and Planning for Post-Secondary Education, all the While Strengthening Friendships and Basking in the Glow of Sweet, Sweet Freedom". Yeah, the cover on that book was HUGE!

This brings us to the last book in my life installment. It is simply titled "Doug, Poverty Stricken, Moves Back in with His Parents in Order to Save Money to Pay for Graduate School, but is Forced to Forfeit Newfound Freedoms and Runs the Risk of Straining Strengthened Bonds and Friendships with People that Mean a Lot to Him".

So, without further ado, I would like to say a couple words to each of the people that has made my life a little more meaningful, pleasureable, and interesting in the last nine months:

THANK YOU!!

There's People in the Sheep!

2005-04-29T23:31:00.000-04:00

Researchers in Nevada have succeeded at what the Welsh have been attempting for hundreds of years: insert human genes and cells into sheep.

There are two ways of looking at these recent breakthroughs.

On one side there will be people that are gravely opposed to this gene structuring and will worry about the possibility of creating a half human, half sheep creature. You know...kind of like Goatboy, except much grosser because it would be real. This kind of view is hard to refute because we don't really know what can happen when human DNA is introduced into the organs, especially the brian, of large mammals.

The other way of looking at this article is to realize the possible implications this could have on the field of medicine. The possibilities for medical advancement and the seemingly endless ability to raise human organs would be very appealing to those on transplant lists regardless of the animal rights issues it would raise.

Either way, the field of science is rapidly progressing. I have to go now, my dog is describing Einstein's theory of relativity.

Netbux Spawning Spinoffs

2005-04-24T21:49:00.000-04:00

Netbux has over 26,000 members now, and its creators have made a similar site: Pay Pup. It's just like Netbux except you can earn $1.00 a day instead of 80 cents. Which brings me to my next point...I reiterate...

You should join! You don't have to relenquish any information other than an e-mail address. You get 2 cents for each search you do from their search page, and you can do a search every 15 seconds. Best of all, you get monetary credit for the searches that your referred members make as well. I'm telling you guys, jump on the boat before this thing takes off. It's never too early to get a slice of the tasty internet income for piddling on search pages pie. My favorite...tastes like pumpkin.

Click here to be referred by me to Netbux

Click here to be referred by me to Pay Pup

Do it for the kids. I'm trying to pay for graduate school for crying out loud! :)

Join Netbux.org

2005-04-21T14:54:00.000-04:00

If you're like me, then you probably do a Google or other search engine search a half a dozen times a day. Well, why not earn some cash while you're doing it?

Netbux.org will offer you 2 cents per search done through their search engine, payable to a PayPal account. The good thing about netbux is that it serves as a database for every major search engine on the internet. Not only that, but you get 2 cents credit for every member's searches whom you refer. It doesn't seem like much, but over time that can add up. Hooray for advertising and the internet!

In summary, sign up for Netbux.org, search from their site using Google, Yahoo, Alta Vista, or whatever blows your dress up, earn up to 80 cents a day plus referals, and you're a happy camper!

Another Reason for Cameron to Worry About the Imminent Destruction of Humankind

2005-04-20T19:54:00.000-04:00

I have a friend named Cameron. He's a smart, funny guy who happens to be the most talented musician I know. He also worries about impending or improbable disaster scenarios which are unavoidable and may result in the destruction of humanity. That said, here is one more thing for him (and everyone) to worry about...

St. Malachy lived from 1094-1148. Canonized in 1190 by Pope Clement III, Malachy was a Celtic cleric who was said to possess the powers of levitation, healing, and above all, clairvoyance.

While visiting Rome in 1139 Malachy had a vision of the line of Papal succession until the time of the second coming foretold in Revelations. Lost and forgotten until 1590, Malachy's writings have been analyzed and hotly debated amongst Biblical scholars for hundreds of years.

According to Malachy, John Paul II was eighth on the list of the ten final Popes before the Apocalypse. The current Pope, Benedict XVI, is 78 years old and is ninth on the list; meaning that we have one more Pope until the end of days. The tenth and final Pope on Malachy's list will be the embodiment of Satan and will lead all of humankind to the final judgement.

Here is the complete list. More information is available from my source.

Malachy's Prophecies - The Last 10 Popes

1. The Burning Fire. PIUS X. 1903-1914. This Pope showed a burning passion for spiritual renewal in the Church.

2. Religion Laid Waste. BENEDICT XV. 1914-1922. During this Pope's reign saw Communism move into Russia where religious life was laid waste, and World War I with the death of millions of Christians who were carnage in Flanders Field and elsewhere.

3. Unshaken Faith. PIUS XI. 1922-1939. This Pope faced tremendous pressure from fascist and sinister powers in Germany and Italy, but he was an outspoken critic of Communism and Fascism which enraged Hitler.

4. An Angelic Shepherd. PIUS XII. 1939-1958. This Pope had an affinity for the spiritual world and received visions which have not been made public. Peter Bander says Pius XII "has emerged as one of the great Popes of all time," and he "was in the truest sense of the word an Angelic Pastor to the flock..."

5. Pastor and Mariner. JOHN XXIII. 1958-1963. John was a pastor to the world, much beloved, and the Patriarch of Venice. The connection to "mariner" is thus remarkable.

6. Flower of Flowers. PAUL VI. 1963-1978. Paul's coat-of-arms depicts three fleurs-de-lis, corresponding to Malachay's prophecy. His coat of arms included three fleurs-de-lis (iris blossoms).

7. Of the Half Moon. JOHN PAUL I. 1978-1978. John Paul I was elected Pope on August 26, 1978, when there was a half moon. He reigned 33 days, that is, about one month, when he died, although many think he was murdered. He was the 109th Pope - is "De Medietate Lunae" (Of the Half Moon). The corresponding pope was John Paul I (1978-78), who was born in the diocese of Belluno (beautiful moon) and was baptized Albino Luciani (white light). He became pope on August 26, 1978, when the moon appeared exactly half full. It was in its waning phase. He died the following month, soon after an eclipse of the moon.

8. The Labor of the Son. JOHN PAUL II. 1978-2005. Pope John Paul II was the most traveled Pope in history. He circled the globe numerous times, preaching to huge audiences everywhere he went. He survived an assassination attempt. He has written a book which has enjoyed a large circulation. Like the sun which never ceases to labor and provides light daily, this Pope has been incessant. He was born on May 18, 1920. On that date in the morning there was a near total eclipse of the sun over Europe. Prophecy - The 110th Pope is "De Labore Solis" (Of the Solar Eclipse, or, From the Toil of the Sun). Like the sun he came out of the East (Poland).

9. The Glory of the Olive. The Order of St. Benedict has said this Pope will come from their order. It is interesting that Jesus gave his apocalyptic prophecy about the end of time from the Mount of Olives. This Pope will reign during the beginning of the tribulation Jesus spoke of. The 111th prophesy is "Gloria Olivae" (The Glory of the Olive). The Order of Saint Benedict has claimed that this pope will come from their ranks. Saint Benedict himself prophesied that before the end of the world his Order, known also as the Olivetans, will triumphantly lead the Catholic Church in its fight against evil.

10. PETER THE ROMAN - This final Pope will likely be Satan, taking the form of a man named Peter who will gain a worldwide allegiance and adoration. He will be the final antichrist which prophecy students have long foretold. If it were possible, even the very elect would be deceived. The 112th prophesy states: "In the final persecution of the Holy Roman Church there will reign Petrus Romanus, who will feed his flock amid many tribulations; after which the seven-hilled city will be destroyed and the dreadful Judge will judge the people. The End."

Malachy's final words, "Rome, the seat of the Vatican, will be destroyed and the dreadful Judge will judge the people."

So it is written, and so it shall come to pass. As a man of faith I truly hope this is not the case.

What's Your Political Persuasion?

2005-04-14T17:00:00.000-04:00

You Are a Liberal for Life

You've got a bleeding heart - and you're proud of it.

For you, liberal means being compassionate, pro-government, and anti-business.

You believe in equality for every person, and you consider yourself universally empathetic.

Helping others is not just political for you ... it's very personal too.

What political persuasion are you?

We All Make Mistakes

2005-04-13T01:29:00.000-04:00

Everybody makes mistakes. Just this morning I unwittingly applied a thin film of toothpaste on my face rather than my acne cleanser...again...

However, when mistakes happen in the medical field the repercussions can be widespread and deadly. According to this article, vials of a strand of Asian flu from a 1957 pandemic that killed more than one million people world-wide were inadvertantly sent to some 3,700 laboratories. Fearing a possible contamination and outbreak, the World Health Organization is asking that each laboratory destroy their samples.

Hey, at least it's not Ebola or Hanta.

Mono

2005-04-06T14:38:00.000-04:00

I have Mono. I don't know how I got it. I hate the world right now. I'm going to sleep...

Mitch Hedberg

2005-04-01T14:08:00.000-05:00

A comic genius passed away yesterday, but his legacy will live on in the form of his witty and memorable one-liners and observations on human behavior. His name was Mitch Hedberg and he was one of the most brilliant comics I have ever seen.

Mitch was a self-proclaimed champion of alternative lifestyles. He liked hard rock and hard drugs. It was the drugs that killed him, as he died of a drug overdose induced heart attack at the age of 37. Like John Belushi, Chris Farley, and John Candy, Heberg left this world at the height of comic prowess, and many years too soon. He did not and will never have the same name recognition as the aforementioned three, but true fans of the stand-up circuit will fondly remember Mitch's witticisms for many years to come.

The following is a list of some of his more well-known one liners that I compiled through internet searches. If you have never experienced Mitch Hedberg before, these quotes will barely do him justice:

"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."

"You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something."

"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here."

"I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying... You're supposed to yell 'fore' but I kept thinking there ain't no way that's gonna hit him."

"My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! Fuck. Seven. Not even close. I need more dice."

"I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said Please Try Again because they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong... or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me, 'c'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top."

" You never hear of someone dying from a heroin underdose. Never. Seriously, have you ever heard a doctor say, "Well, if he had just gotten more heroin...."

"My friend said to me, You know what I like? Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause."

"I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid-back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut 'em up."

"I saw a wino eating grapes once. I told him "Dude, you have to wait..."

"If you're ever lost in the forest, Fuck it - Build a house. Well I was lost, but now I live here! I have seriously improved my predicament."

"Rice is really good if you're hungry and want to eat 2000 of something."

"When someone hands you a flyer they are basically saying 'here you throw this away".

"I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed. He'd have to run like a mother fucker to get that thing in the air."

"I hate turtlenecks. When you wear a turtleneck it's like you're being strangled by a really weak guy all day long. If you have on a turtleneck and backpack it's like a weak midget is trying to bring you down."

RIP Mitch Hedberg - 1968-2005

Which Napoleon Dynamite Character Are You?

2005-03-24T14:43:00.000-05:00

You are Pedro Sanchez and love holy chips.

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

In Case you Didn't Know

2005-03-24T12:37:00.000-05:00

Hey everybody. In case you've been living under a rock for the last week and have had no contact with me, I have been accepted into graduate school! That's right, after two more years of school I will have earned the right to call myself an elitist!! Bwahahahaha!

Seriously though, I got a nice phone call from Dr. Hunter, a professor at the Graduate Program of History at UNC-G, notifiying me of my acceptance. The only downside: no financial aid. *Sigh*...This is where you come in Home Depot!

The Inferno

2005-03-21T01:48:00.000-05:00

Props to Matt for finding this internet gem.

"That guy"
Circle I Limbo

Scientologists
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

General asshats
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Duke basketball fans
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Talking heads
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

George Bush
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Karl Rove
Circle VII Burning Sands

Sex offenders
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

ARRGGHHH!!

2005-03-21T00:55:00.000-05:00

It's official, I hate Adobe Acrobat PDF reader. I just spent the last hour researching an excellent blog entry that dispels the myth of a lack of success of Philadelphia sports teams, and I lost it all when Adobe Acrobat crashed.

My abridged entry:
All Philadelphia major league sports teams (Eagles, Phillies, Flyers, 76ers) have won AT LEAST 1 championship since 1960.

Wake Forest has never even sniffed an NCAA championship, never played in a championship game, and only advanced to the Final Four ONCE, in 1962. Wake Forest has played in 15 straight post-season tournaments (12 of them NCAA tourney, 3 NIT), had two 1 seeds, two 2 seeds, and has only advanced to the Elite Eight in one of those years. In this time Wake Forest is in the top 10 in the nation in games won, and has averaged more than 20 wins each season.

There is nothing more disheartening than being a Wake Forest basketball fan in March.

The Big Orange Box

2005-03-11T01:16:00.000-05:00

Hey everybody, sorry about the lack of updates. By the looks of my hit counter you've all but given up on me, so Operation: Win Back my Readers is about to commence.

I have been working at the Home Depot for just over three weeks now. The pay is decent, the hours are improving, and the people I work with are exceptional.

They're not your typical run-of-the-mill folks. They value interacting with others, applying their experiential knowledge, and creating a finished product with their hands. I am greeted with a smile every day that I walk into the store, and my supervisors and co-workers have been very helpful in training me for the two departments I am working in.

I was hired as a paint associate and quickly found out that I was being trained in the decor department as well. "No big deal", I thought, "I can adjust".

HOLY CRAP there is a lot of stuff to learn. I deal with blinds, shutters, shades, and wallpaper in the decor department. As of three weeks ago I knew exactly nothing about all of the above. Needless to say I have had to absorb a lot of information in recent weeks.

For instance, did you know that there are various slat size and mounting options for special order blinds? Also, we can cut Bali vertical blinds, but only if they are not connected to a valance. Speaking of valances (not to be confused with headrails, duh) did you know that their sole purpose is to add aesthetic value to a room?

You should also refrain from placing wood blinds in kitchens and bathrooms as exposure to moisture makes them warp and fade over time. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. There is a difference between light filtering and room darkening blinds. Oh, and you should avoid purchasing cellular shades from Levelor as they are not cured in a binding solute like their Bali counterparts.

Speaking of Bali (and we're not talking fitness clubs), they have superior customer service and are Home Depot's recommended brand. Bali offers high quality blinds as reasonable prices, lifetime warranties against factory defects, and oversees the entire production of their process (i.e. they own the basswood forests where their lumber is cut, own the factories, and control the shipping from their home office). This is opposed to Levelor and Hunter Douglas who import their lumber from Asia and have little quality control over their slats.

The Home Depot brainwashing has begun! AHHHHHHHH! Hide the children!

Update Status

2005-02-19T16:05:00.000-05:00

Greetings and salutations!

Sorry for the lack of updates this last week or so, but I have been quite the busy beaver. I now have a job; for which I have been training the last four days.

I am still anxiously awaiting for a reply from UNC-G in regards to the status of my graduate school application, and am eagerly anticipating my hefty tax returns. Ah the joys of post-college debt and poverty.

That's all for now, I gotta run. You can expect a more lengthy entry with my everpresent wit and cutting edge opinions and conclusions in the near future.

Peace out, A-town down!

Make it a Blockbuster Night

2005-02-08T02:09:00.000-05:00

Sometimes you just HAVE to rent a movie...It's probably a good idea to not hit the police officer's car though.

In other news, I have just about secured a job. A more substantial post on that subject when it becomes official.

Could it Be?

2005-02-03T22:35:00.000-05:00

Is the Ragin' Cajun a Wake Forest fan? Click here to see a picture of James Carville sporting a tie-dye at the Wake/Duke game.

Remembering Influential Musicians

2005-02-03T16:35:00.000-05:00

Today marks the 46th anniversary of the deaths of Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and J.P. "The Big Bopper" Richardson. They were all killed on their way to a concert when their chartered plane crashed in Iowa en route to Minnesota in the waning hours of the day in 1959.

Holly became weary of their tour bus' propensity for breakdowns and heat failure, so he booked a charter flight to make transportation more comfortable to the next gig. It was a small plane, however, and only three people could fit in it besides the pilot. Holly, being the planner, claimed the first seat.

The second seat was conceded to the Big Bopper by Waylon Jennings. Richardson had been developing a fever and Jennings thought that a warm ride in an airplane would be better for his health than a long ride on a cold bus.

This left one more spot. Valens and backup musician Tommy Allsup flipped a coin for the last seat, with the winning toss going the way of Ricthie.

And so the stage was set for one of the more tragic events in the history of music. Three legends in their own time boarded a small plane in bad weather, with a pilot who did not have a mastery of the navigation system and control panel of the aircraft. The result was as tragic as it was unnecessary.

The mark that these three men left on the developing rock and roll scene of the late 50s and early 60s is etched in history, with timeless classics including Buddy Holly's Peggy Sue, Oh Boy, and That'll Be the Day; Bopper's Chantilly Lace; and Valens' Donna and La Bamba.

Artists such as Bob Dylan, Paul McCartney, Don McLean, and countless others have been influenced by the work of these three pioneers; and who knows what great hits could have come from them in the following years had they not set foot on the plane on that fateful night. It truly was the day the music died.

Additional Source

OWNED!!

2005-02-01T18:01:00.000-05:00

Down 1 with .6 seconds remaining in overtime, Jordan Snipes hits a 90 foot desperation shot as time expires to propel the Guilford Quakers to victory.

Randolph Macon = OWNED!

Story here.
Video here.

Year in Review

2005-01-31T17:43:00.000-05:00

I saw this template on Matt's blog. I liked it so I decided to steal it and post my own thoughts and reflections about 2004.

Surveying 2004

01. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? I graduated from college. Twice.
02. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Yep! For a while, anyways./Absolutely
03. Did anyone close to you give birth? I have fathered numerous children all around the world.
04. Did anyone close to you die? No.
05. What countries did you visit? None...so I guess you observant readers can figure out that I was kidding about number 3.
06. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? More sculpted abs.
07. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? May 8th...graduated from college (ditto on that, Matt).
08. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Making it through a semester of student teaching without killing any of my students.
09. What was your biggest failure? Making it through a semester of student teaching without killing any of my students.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I trip over stuff and run into things when I walk sometimes.
11. What was the best thing you bought? A 5 game ticket package for Wake Forest basketball games!!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? The 48% of voters that attempted to oust Bush from office.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Dubbya
14. Where did most of your money go? Rent and prostitutes...well, mostly just prostitutes...(kidding)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Apartment life and those yummy Cadbury mini eggs that you can only get around Easter. Oh, and the opportunity to get Bush out of office.
16. What song will always remind you of 2004? Yeah! - Featuring Usher and Lil' John
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or Sadder? Happier. Thinner or Fatter? About the same. Richer or Poorer? More in debt...so I guess poorer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Work out, tell my friends how much they mean to me.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Sleeping until noon.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? Went home to see the family.
21. Did you fall in love in 2004? No
22. How many one-night stands? NONE!! Never had a one night stand. :)
23. What was your favorite TV program? The Daily Show
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No
25. What was the best book you read? The DaVinci Code
26. What was your greatest musical discovery? Alter Bridge
27. What did you want and get? A piece of paper that says I did well in college.
28. What did you want and not get? Any number of things.
29. What was your favorite film of this year? Shrek 2
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 22...and I honestly don't remember.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Making friggin' Phi Alpha Theta! AAARRRGGHHHHH!!!!
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? As stylish as my budget can afford. Holla at a clearance rack!
33. What kept you sane? Friends and the weight room at Guilford College
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you admire the most? John Stewart
35. What political issue stirred you the most? Iraq
36. Who do you miss? Guilford friends that have moved away.
37. Who was the best new person you met? Anna Cline. :)
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: If you be yourself then things will work out pretty well.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "Discover the dusk of your day has reached its dawn."

Whoops

2005-01-28T14:12:00.000-05:00

Talk about a fashion faux pas.

I guess Veep Cheney didn't get the memo. Note to self: when representing America and expressing condolence and respect for those whose lives were wrongfully and prematurely taken at the Auschwitz death camp during World War II try to dress in a more appropriate manner.

Right to Free Assembly?

2005-01-26T01:31:00.000-05:00

This should be unconstitutional. It is a photograph that appears in the current issue of U.S. News & World Reports that depicts a line of protestors being doused in pepper spray courtesy of Washington D.C.'s finest. Shameful if you ask me.

I don't know the circumstances behind this snapshot in time, but it appears as though these citizens were in no way a threat to anybody and were merely practicing their right to free and peaceful assembly.

A Post for Matt

2005-01-22T01:42:00.000-05:00

The NFC Championship game is this Sunday. The Philadelphia Eagles are playing in their fourth consecutive championship game, having lost the previous three years. No team has ever lost four consecutive conference championship games...Could this be the year and team that changes history? For Matt's sake, I hope not.

Let me briefly describe Matt for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of meeting him (specifically you, person that reads my blog from the North Carolina A&T network and never leaves a message on my entries or tag board). He's a big teddy bear from southern New Jersey. He graduated from Guilford with degrees in History and Political Science, and currently resides just outside of Houston. He also likes sipping wine by the fireplace and going for long walks on the beach. Sorry, though, ladies, he's taken.

But seriously, Matt is a good guy whose love for the Eagles is only rivaled by my love of Wake Forest basketball. The perpetual anguish we share from the continued underachievement of our teams is longstanding, and this year is probably the best chance for their mutual success (The Eagles are hosting a dome team in a likely blizzard, and Wake Forest has the best college basketball player in the nation).

So Matt, here is a toast to you:

If they lose:
Fly Eagles fly, on the road to victory
And if they happen to lose the game
Please don't throw your shoe at me.

If they win:
Fly Eagles fly, on the road to victory
Remember your landlord and neighbors
As you strip and streak with glee!

E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!! and deacs...

Cold!!!

2005-01-19T02:24:00.000-05:00

As you can tell by my title and the nifty weather indicator on the right column, courtesy of the Weather Channel online, it is pretty friggin' cold in Greensboro right now (16 degrees as I write this). I was talking to a friend that attends Appalachian State and she said that the wind chill was -5 farenheit on Tuesday afternoon.

Don't get me wrong, I actually kind of like cold weather; but it seems like such a waste when there is no snow to accompany it. Pure snow is such a rarity in my part of Norff Kakolack' that I feel the need to catch flakes on my tongue in the unlikely event of a flurry.

Of course, when snow, ice, or snow and ice comes for a visit the entire way of life in the Triad shuts down. Hilarity ensues.

People dash to the grocery store in search of bread, milk, and eggs because they know that they will be snowed in under a blanket of 4 inches for days on end as the lone city salt truck and snow plow make their rounds to the various thoroughfares of the Gate City.

The Lighter Side of Me

2005-01-17T01:40:00.000-05:00

I've spent a lot of time lately talking about college basketball and politics. While these are two of my passions I think it is important for me to convey to you my kindler, gentler, goofier side. And what better way than through a list of links and descriptions of things that make me laugh!?

- This is how you turn a disposabe camera into a taser
- Click here for a funny paper about Oedipus
- Find out the truth about Duke here
- Check out this site for links to random hilarity
- This guy is pretty funny too

Things not involving the web that make me laugh:
- Commercials during the Super Bowl
- Most commercials involving Budweiser
- Cats dressed up in costumes like in the movie Anchorman
- The two cats that live in my apartment
- Lewis Black
- Dave Chapelle
- Mitch Hedberg
- John Stewart and The Daily Show

Movies

2005-01-14T01:17:00.000-05:00

I am a big fan of movies. But then again, who isn't? I like many different types of movies and there are quite a few that just plain suck. So for the purposes of this blog entry I will rank movies in three categories: favorite movies, least favorite movies, and best trilogies (I'm a sucker for trilogies).

My Favorite Movies (Trilogies not included):
10. American Pie - The first time I saw this movie I laughed until I cried. It makes you feel like an awkward high school student all over again.
9. The Sixth Sense - Shamylan didn't gone over the top with his hyperbole, foreshadowing, and dramatization in this classic suspense/thriller.
8. Office Space - A great comedy that sums up the lives of so many people that are trapped behind a desk each day.
7. The Waterboy - Adam Sandler at his best as he turns from an angsty Mama's boy into a squealing, high flying linebacker.
6. Cool Runnings - Any movie with Doug E. Doug and John Candy in it has to be good. And when you throw in the true story of the Jamaican bobsled team then you have a recipe for greatness.
5. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective - Jim Carey displays his zany sense of humor as a pet detective searching for the mascot of the Miami Dolphins. Good cameo by Dan Marino.
4. Glory - Second best war movie of all time behind #2 on the list. Most historically accurate Civil War movie I have ever seen and has one of the greatest casts ever assembled.
3. Dumb and Dumber - The slapstick comedy that celebrated the unrefined and silly nature of a couple of well-intentioned dimwits.
2. Saving Private Ryan - The most realisitic war movie ever made takes you on a whirlwind recreation of the D-Day landings (and you know how us history geeks double-check for historical accuracy).
1. The Usual Suspects - A great thriller with a plot twist at the end that you won't see coming (unless you are a smart, cunning, and beautiful girl named Anna that figures out the ending in the first five minutes of the flick).

My Least Favorite Movies:
5. Blair Witch Project - I knew it was fake before I saw it, and my first view was on my 19" t.v. in my bedroom. Kind of ruins the experience.
4. Moulin Rouge - So this is a movie about a brothel in Paris? What's with all the singing and excess make-up? I consider this movie to have been a waste of two hours of my life.
3. Bad Boys II - Not on the same level as most of the others on this list, but the precursor was so excellent that the second installment became a huge disappointment.
2. The Sound of Music - Nothing wrong with the cast, directing, or movie...except that it glorifies the lives of the Nazi sympathizing Von Trapp family.
1. Fear Dot Com - Worst movie I have ever seen. Luckily my friend worked at a movie theater and I didn't pay to see it.

My Favorite Trilogies:
5. Robocop - What is not to love about a metallic, bulletproof crimefighter with the brain of a human?
4. Jurassic Park - Only the utter suckiness of the third installment keeps this trilogy from being higher on the list. As a child that was captivated with paleontlogy and dinosaurs these movies were a dream come true.
3. Indiana Jones - Who thought that a lowly Archaeology professor could kick so much ass during the 1930s?
2. Star Wars - The original, of course. No other set of movies has inspired a generation the way that this late 70s/early 80s George Lucas masterpiece did.
1. Lord of the Rings - The scope and grandeur of the movies is captivating. Throw in some beautiful scenery, incredible computer graphics, and great acting and you have the greatest trio of movies ever released.

Those are my lists and I'm sticking to them. If you'd like to chime in you can reply or hit up my tag board.

No WMD

2005-01-13T02:22:00.000-05:00

I am a liberal, but I honestly think that George W. Bush is doing what he thinks is best for my country. I disagree with his statements and actions in most cases, but it is clear that he loves his country and has the support of at least 51% of the voting population that took part in the last election.

That said, I am also going to grant him a temporary reprieve regarding his numerous claims that Iraq was not only developing, but had the capability and was planning to use chemical and biological weapons in terrorist acts across the globe. I'm sure part of this blame lies in breakdowns in intelligence.

I will not as a historian, however, sit back and watch the same thing happen to the United States that has happened to every other superpower that has ever dominated the globe.

The United States has officially ended its search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. I find this to be somewhat disconcerting.

I will be the first to admit that Saddam Hussein was a terrible dictator who performed many immoral and hurtful acts such as genocide, election rigging, and the brutal murder of any opposition to his authority. It is also blatently clear to me that Hussein and his Iraqi army, its strength greatly diminished after the Gulf War, posed no immediate or long term threat to the safety of the United States or Europe, and apparently did not have an active chemical or biological weapons program; much less the means to carry out such an attack.

The United States has the best trained, best equipped, and most efficient fighting force the world has ever seen. What the armed forces lack in manpower they make up with tactics and ingenuity. However, the lack of numbers is beginning to take a toll on our fighting men and women. Tours of duty are increasing in duration and high numbers of National Guardsmen and Army reserves are being called into active duty.

A historian would point to these facts and attempt to activate an alarm bell. Luckily, I am one such historian.

There have been great civilizations and warring tribes throughout human history. The Greeks, Romans, Mongols, Spanish, British, Germans, and French have all controlled the world spotlight at some point in time, similar to the way the United States currently enjoys basking in the glow. However, it is important to note that none of the aforementioned countries/societies/cultures have maintained their spheres of influence.

This is primarily due to the inability of nations to govern over vast distances. Although there are new inventions such as spy satellites, the Internet, cellular phones, and hi-tech weaponry, it still takes people, time, resources, and money to take police actions in countries half a world away. And when these police actions and interventions fail it damages the reputation and economy of the dominant country.

It happened to the British when their American colonists revolted, it happened to the French when Napoleon attempted a land invasion of Russia, it happened to Germany when Hitler attempted a land invasion of Russia and declared war on the U.S.A., it happened to the Romans when they attempted to conquer Europe from the British Isles to the Caspian Sea, it happened to the Mongols when they overextended their empire and were absorbed into a number of cultures, it happened to the Spanish when Philip II attempted an invasion of England only to be turned away by a spunky British navy in 1588, and it happened to the Greeks when the upstart Romans seized control of their territory.

So what can we learn from history? It seems to me that humans have an alarming tendency to ignore the failures of the past and relive them with regularity. I see many parallels with the current state of America and conditions in Rome before the fall of the mighty Roman Empire. Am I saying that there are barbarian hordes lining up at our borders to seize control of our land? No. I am merely saying that our involvement in military operations with seemingly lackluster reasons for mobilization have shifted the focus of our leaders. Instead of spending money on healthcare, education, infrastructure, and alternative fuel sources our nation has decided to pour billions of dollars into a war effort in the oil-rich regions of the Middle East.

Is oil the reason for our involvement? Despite Michael Moore's best efforts I would genuinely like to believe otherwise. But this administration has failed to construct a demarkation line that dilineates between acceptable and unacceptable practices in developing countries. Iraq and Afghanistan were first, Iran and Syria are on the hot seat, and lets not forget that North Korea has the bomb now too.

We, as the self-proclaimed leaders of the free world, need to reach out our hands and promote democracy with an olive branch rather than the muzzle of an M-16. The futures of our children and our children's children may be at stake whether we care to realize or not.

There is Nothing Like College Basketball

2005-01-12T01:42:00.000-05:00

As my title indicates, there are few things in life I cherish more than a good college basketball game. Imagine 14,000 people, despite differences in sex, ethnicity, job, income level, and appearance, coming together to share a common interest: cheering their favorite team to victory. The game itself is no longer how James Naismith intended; it has been molded and revised into its current form, and is the last mainstream sport that has not been corrupted by drug scandals, player lockouts, strikes, or contract disputes.

What makes a college basketball game so special?

You can start with the atmosphere. A sold out arena full of students, alumni, and fans from the community forge a common bond, whether it be through chants, tie-dye shirts, or an insaciable hunger and appreciation for teamwork and fundamentals.

Next comes the spectacle. Whether it is a Demon Deacon repelling from the rafters, Guns & Roses blaring from the sound system, or the P. A. announcer accentuating each syllable, the spectacle of college basketball has spread exponentially in the last 15 years.

Finally, you have the comradery. Student athletes representing their school, their family, and their hometowns are forced to bond with one another and form a team where kinship is synonymous with teamwork, which leads to ultimate success. Whether or not this success is realized on the court is inconsequential in the long run because these students of the game are being taught life lessons that they will carry with them long after the final buzzer has sounded.

Of course, it is a lot easier to make these statements when your favorite team is on the up side of a well-played game.
Wake Forest - 81
Maryland - 66

Some of North Carolina's Finest

2005-01-10T19:02:00.000-05:00

Just when you thought that things couldn't get any worse there is a story that shows that there is still some goodness in this world. For those of you who want the Cliff Notes version it is basically the story of two sanitation workers who found $5,100 in a discarded shirt and returned the loot to its original owner who had no idea there was money in the old shirts she threw out. It speaks volumes for the many good people in this world who do the right thing each day without any acknowledgement or accolade. It also further supports a historically well-known fact that North Carolina is a veil of humility between two mountains of conceit (thank you Alvis Dunn).

New Year's Resolutions

2005-01-10T05:10:00.000-05:00

Greetings and a happy new year to my loyal readers! (I doubt I have any more since I haven't really updated in about two weeks)...Anywho, this is what is going on in my life:

I graduated from college for the second time.
I am unemployed and looking for work.
I will be sending off my application for graduate school on Monday.
I have the nicest, most caring network of friends a guy can ask for, and for that I am thankful.
I am upset that the Panthers did not make the playoffs, but I can deal.
Wake Forest has been blitzing the competition as of late, winning their last two games by a total of 54 points.
I am going to two college basketball games next week.
I started working out again and my body hurts.
I have realized that Dave Barry is not as funny as he used to be...
And I have realized that Brad Pitt is a bigger moron than I would have ever believed.

And now for the New Year's Resolutions:

1. Eat healthier food.
2. Get back on a normal sleeping schedule (bang up job so far since I'm updating at 2:00 AM).
3. Better appreciate nature.
4. Work out like a fiend and put on about 15 pounds worth of muscle.
5. Get a friggin' job.
6. Read more books.
7. Update this blog frequently and amass 1,000 hits by April (hey, it could happen).

That's all for now folks...

Dukie V

2004-12-20T16:43:00.000-05:00

A more substantive post later...

Click me!

Phi Alpha Theta

2004-12-01T16:41:00.000-05:00

Phi Alpha Theta is a history honors society for academic achievers that display a passion for history. It was also the bane of my existence during the second semester of my Senior year of college (as Matt can attest to on his blog).

Matt and I have experienced quite a few highs and lows over the last couple years. However, one event acts as the proverbial thorn in our side: our rejection from a certain history honors society. To understand our plight you have to take a look back at our entire college career.

I did not know Matt the first two years I was at Guilford, but I am willing to bet that his experience was similar to mine. I came into college as a nervous, maturing adolescent that was looking to find his niche. Needless to say, I found it. My niche was somewhere between Busch Light and incomplete homework. Consequently, my grades suffered. After my first three semesters I had a rousing GPA of 2.62, or to put it in other words: absolute crap. At the time I had no idea of the lasting impact that my early days would have on my academic future.

Well, come Spring of my Sophomore year I finally hit my stride (I finished with a 3.35 that semester). I followed that up with four consecutive semesters on the Dean's List (minimum 3.5 GPA for a semester). I was cruising along believing that my college career was all sunshine and butterflies and that my GPA within my major was all that really mattered. Boy was I wrong.

Like Matt said, we both qualified for Phi Alpha Theta with our History GPA (minimum 3.5), but our overall GPA was what was holding us back. For you see, your overall GPA has to be at least 3.3 to gain acceptance into this society; and I found myself coming up just a bit short with an overal GPA of 3.21. I'm not sure what Matt's GPA was, but I would guess that it's somewhere in that neighborhood as well {he's the smart one, ya see....(oh, and he's prettier too...)}.

With this information now known, we can come to the following conclusions (we being myself and whoever else reads this blog):
1. It took me a while to get acclamated to the college lifestyle.
2. This acclamation could have occured much faster if I actually applied myself (or been sober).
3. Jeff Vanke is a brilliant professor and my source of ispiration, and he is also a stickler for rules and regulations.
4. Phi Alpha Theta grabbed Matt and me by the ankles, pulled our pants down, laid us across his lap, and proceded to slap us on the booty with a leather belt until every ounce of dignity and self-worth was zapped from our bodies. Then PAT rubbed salt in the wounds and made us go to the fridge to get him a beer {a Sam Adams of course, PAT accepts no imitations and always insists on historical relevence with his beer (Sam Adams was the brother of former president John Adams, which brings me to my last point)}.

Will there ever be a day when interest and subject content knowledge are the sole determinates for inclusion in elite academic groups rather than performance in classes that are completely unrelated to the major? My sources say no (my sources hate the No Child Left Behind act too, but that's a story for a different day).

Beer, Candy, and Observations

2004-11-27T23:37:00.000-05:00

I've noticed that the cool thing to do these days on blogs is to make "favorites lists". So, in order to stay up to speed with the competition and keep my throngs of adoring fans happy (by throngs I mean the 5 or 6 of you who check out my site every couple of days + the dozen or so who by chance happen to stumble upon my little slice of heaven) I have decided to make two top ten lists to go along with my usual rants....Drumroll please..................ok, knock off the drumroll...

My Ten Favorite Beers:
10. Southpaw Light - Cheap with surprising taste for a crappy light beer. Also good for college binge drinking.
9. Assorted Saranac - Excellent varieties from a well-known US microbrewery. My favorites include the IPA, Caramel Porter, and Chocolate Ale.
8. Busch Light - Head for the mountains of cold, cheap, keg beer! Also good for drinking games (Kings, Suits, Beer Pong, et. al.), and the empty box of a 24 pack makes a dandy helmet for those late night drunken escapades...or so I've heard... :/
7. Bass Ale - If there is one thing that England does well (besides currency and nationalized healthcare), it is beer.
6. Fullers London Pride - Mmmmm, Fullers (*sigh* it reminds me of that afternoon outside of London when I was dining on a patio across the street from Hampton Court Palace...good times).
5. Red Oak - Fantastic Greensboro micro-brew made under the Bavarian purity laws.
4. Redhook ESB - My favorite ale, rich body with a slightly bitter taste. Mm mm good!
3. Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout - Oatmeal + beer = a tasty, healthy treat! :)
2. Guinness - Has flavors ranging from coffee to chocolate, clearly the class of the beer world.
1. Young's Double Chocolate Stout - My personal favorite because I am a chocolate junky, it has most of the perks of Guinness but leaves an aftertaste of dark chocolate. Me likey!

Honorable mention - Newcastle Brown Ale, Young's Winter Warmer, Boddington's Pub Ale, most Samuel Adams varieties, Battleground Black, Winterhook, and Heineken (but only in Holland or on tap).

My Ten Favorite Candies:
10. Dots - Nothing better than a small box of articially flavored gum drops.
9. Flavored Tootsie Rolls - Multicultural tootsie rolls? That's what they taste like to me too!
8. Tootsie Pops - Lollipop + tootsie roll = a brilliant invention!
7. Nerds - Wonka is the friggin' man!
6. Cadbury Flake - My favorite from London. Flaky chocolate dipped in chocolate!
5. Blow-pop - Would be higher on the list by I try to avoid sugared gum.
4. Crunch Bar - Crunchy AND chocolatey!
3. Milky Way - Chocolate, nougat, and caramel. Moist, chewy deliciousness!
2. Hershey's Milk Chocolate - Sweet, versatile, and rich in history!
1. Dark Chocolate/Semi-Sweet Chocolate - I prefer bitter chocolate over milk chocolate but find it increasingly difficult to find them in stores. Ah well, c'est la vie...

Well, that's all for now peeps, I'll holla' at you later...

Dolphins

2004-11-23T02:21:00.000-05:00

Wow, dolphins really DO have a kinship with humans. I guess it's no coincidence that we're the only two species that have sex for pleasure (not with with each other though. Stop thinking about hot dolphin on man action you beastiality lovin' freak!).

We're #1!!

2004-11-23T02:06:00.000-05:00

Holy crap! The Deacs are #1! The day of redemption is at hand! In all seriousness though...in all my years of tortured college basketball existence I never expected to see this. After living through the Bob Stack years that were mired in mediocrity to seeing Dave Odom prowl the sideline and suck the life out of a team's momentum (not to mention not utilizing the skills of one of the 5 greatest college basketball players of all time, Timmy Duncan) Skip Prosser has done the seemingly impossible: transform little old Wake Forest into the greatest team in the land. Of course, it's only the second week of the season and overall rankings are meaningless, but it is still quite an accomplishment, seeing as how Wake has NEVER, in almost 100 years of basketball, EVER been ranked #1 until this week. Eat your heart out Dookies!

HEHEHE...

2004-11-18T17:10:00.000-05:00

On loan from BrainSoup.

I Hate Football!*

2004-11-14T12:05:00.000-05:00

*Note: Football indicates American football, not soccer (which I love because Arsenal Football Club rocks my face off)

I'm really starting to hate football this year. I am an avid fan of two teams: the Carolina Panthers and the Wake Forest Demon Deacons. The combined record of those two teams is 5-12. You don't have to be a sports expert to realize that this is quite unimpressive. Let us examine the seasons of these two squads...

Carolina Panthers: Last year, 11-5, lost in the Super Bowl. This year, 1-7, plagued by injuries.

There is a lot of parody in the NFL this year. Key injuries are what separate the average from the excellent. And it is these injuries that have befallen the anemic Panthers this season. Lets say that last year you had a comfortable income and decided to make some luxury purchases. Well, say that this year comes around and you experience some rough times. So rough in fact that you lose 60% of your income. Now you are going to be unable to make the payments on your luxury items. The items will be reposessed and you will be left to struggle to make ends meat.

Well, this is precisely what happened to the Carolina Panthers. The Panthers have lost Steve Smith, Stephen Davis, and DeShawn Foster for the entire season. This trio was responsible for more than 60% of their offensive production. Couple this with the loss of the best defensive tackle in the NFL (Kris Jenkins) and continued ailments with linebackers (Mark Fields has only recently returned to form after defeating cancer, and Dan Morgan missed last week and is doubtful for today after experiencing a concussion) and you have a team that is not much of a threat to do anything.

My allegiance to my team prevents me from giving up hope, but being in a depressed mood for three hours every Sunday as I watch the Panthers toil through another tough loss begins to take its toll.

Wake Forest Demon Deacons: Last year, 5-7. This year, 4-5.

Wake Forest is the third smallest school in Division I athletics but manages to compete with schools 10-15 times its size year in and year out in most major sports. This said, I have been a Wake fan since my parents took me to my first basketball game when I was four months old.

Since Jim Grobe has become the coach of WFU the football team has gained respectability. Far gone are the years when Wake would finish 2-9 or 3-8 and be the laughing stock of the ACC. Now teams circle their date of engagement with the Deacs and worry about the struggle they will face. And struggles they are indeed. It is true that Wake Forest has lost more games than they have won this season, but it is also true that they have had a chance to win each game they have played, never losing by more than 7 points. This change of pace has energized fans, as attendance records have been broken each year for the last three. Yesterday's game was witnessed by more than 37,000, breaking a single game attendance record that has stood for almost 25 years (it didn't do a lot of good though, Wake still lost 31-24). The environment of the stadium has changed for the better, but all of these close losses are too much to take.

Therefore, more times than not, Wake Forest hangs in the game for 55 minutes and then crushes the spirits of its faithful and knowledgeable fans by giving up a late score and consequently losing the game. And by the time I recover from the loss it is Sunday afternoon and time for the Panther's weekly beating. Sad and dismaying isn't it? Oh well, at least I have Arsenal games to watch on Fox Sports World, not to mention Demon Deacon hoops!

Veterans Day

2004-11-11T05:00:00.000-05:00

November 11 is a day that Americans know as Veterans Day and the rest of the world knows as Armistice Day. For it was on this day in 1918 that the Treaty of Versailles was signed in the Hall of Mirrors, thus bringing an end to The Great War. But why, one may ask, did the war end on November 11? Well, it's an interesting and tragic story, and those of you that have not heard it before are in for an alarming history lesson.

World War 1 began in 1914. It was fought with outdated tactics and updated weaponry. The basic land assault consisted of thousands of men charging over large open plains while under machine gun and artillery fire (quite a buzzkill, I know). After over 4 years of fighting and more than 8 million casualties, neither side had accomplished much. However, American entrance into the war had tipped the scale in favor of the combined French, British, and U.S. forces. The battered economies of Germany and Austria-Hungary could not afford to keep up the war effort for much longer. Therefore, a peace treaty was proposed. The result of this peace treaty is one of the more bizarre stories in recent military history.

Peace negotiations had been ongoing since October of 1918. However, commanding generals on both sides thought that they could make the end of the the war more memorable if it took place on a coinciding day and month. Hence November 11 (for you see, November is the 11th month of the year). Well, this wasn't enough for the old battle-hardened fighters so they decided to kick it up a notch. An agreement was made to end all conflict on the 11th hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month of the year (BAM!). This may sound cute and proper but there is a much more grim side to the story.

You see, the war could have ended weeks earlier. By waiting until mid-November the commanding officers essentially wrote out death certificates for thousands more of their soldiers. And this is what ticks me off. Standard ethics and morality would tell us that when involved in conflict every step should be taken to resolve and eliminate that conflict as soon as possible. The fact that so many influential figures from the time period did not take these ideas into account is disturbing to say the least, and I think it is a damn shame that so many innocent lives were lost as a result of this inaction. It pains me to think of all the possible inventions, innovations, political ideas, and reform movements all those lost lives could have had a part in creating or supporting.

Happy Veterans Day. As you sleep in until 9 or 10 remember to keep in your heart all of the brave men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country. And if you see a veteran then give them hug.

A Word on Syphilis

2004-11-09T02:17:00.000-05:00

So I was sitting around talking to a couple friends, and all of a sudden we began a detailed examination of the origins of syphilis (don't worry, I'm successful and disease-free). "How did it start?", one may ask. Well, it's a long, complex story. Actually, it's rather short and comical.

It started out simply enough: a discussion on the equine standards of Jenna Jameson that went horribly wrong. After much conversation and some pseudo-research we found out that there are some conflicting views on the origin of the infection. A: Native Americans "gave" it to Colombus and his men in the late 1400s, B: It originated in Africa, C: It used to be a strain found in sheep until it "somehow crossed over to mankind" (if ya know what I'm sayin'), or D: It has existed in various forms since the rise of the Greeks. Most current research supports option D, as do I. I also have a couple theories to refute the previous three options.

The white man has had a history of oppression and world domination. Historically, if he sees something he doesn't like, he kills it. Consequently, most bad things that occur to him get passed off as the fault of the less upwardly mobile. For instance, you could say that options A and B are merely attempts to pass off a nasty little STD as the fault of two of the most oppressed groups of people in world history (Native Americans and Africans). Option C seems like a possibility, especially when you take into account a treasured English joke concerning their loved and respected neighbors to the Southwest: Q: How did the Welshman find the sheep in the tall grass? A: Very satisfying. Well, come to think of it, I doubt that C is a possibility because let's face it, who would want to have sex with a Welshman?

Therefore, I think it's safe to say that we have our big fat honkey selves to blame for this most unfortunate disease. I have too much time on my hands...

The Boatride From Hell

2004-11-08T17:07:00.000-05:00

As Matt incenuated from his earlier blog post, we have experienced quite a few endeavors in our European travels. Coincidentally, many of them occured while one or both of us were in drunken stupors. Case in point: the boatride from hell.

It all began on a calm ferry ride from Portsmouth, England to Le Havre, France (we were going to the D-Day landing beaches...see, like Matt said...a little history in every post). It just so happened to be Halloween night, and the bar on the massive ferry just so happened to have "Zombie Punch" on sale. What is zombie punch? In a word, AWFUL! Mix one part Grand Marnier, with one part Vodka, one part Gin, one part orange juice, toss in some chopped fruit for good measure, and you get a drink that would make even the most seasoned alcoholic want to dive into the English Channel (and yes, the water was cold at this part of the year).

So we drank and were merry...until the next morning. I had a twinge of a headache while Matt was incoherent for most of the morning. No problem, we trudged on to Rouen and took in the the Joan of Arc historic sites like the history champs we were...now the real fun starts...

Fast forward a day and a half and we're magically lifted to the ferry ride back to nation of crooked teeth. No zombie punch this time, but we did have to deal with 50 mph gails on our 5 HOUR RIDE back to England...Now, this is no small boat we're talking about...it's got 9 levels plus storage, essentially a Wal-Mart that floats. This thing was getting tossed around like a rag doll, people were puking all over the place, and it played havoc with our attempts to gamble our money away at the onboard casino. So we sat there, or laid there in my case; clinging to the faint glimmer of hope that we would make it back to shore without puking our pain au chocolat all over our crinkled clothing.

That's all for now folks, I'm almost late for my 5:30 class...

First Post

2004-11-07T23:56:00.000-05:00

Greetings all, this is a test to make sure I know what the heck I am doing.